Friday, January 11, 2008

Burn the land and boil the sea...

...You can't take my identity away from me. You can take my sign though, apparently. My apologies for vague geek references with the quote.

Anyway, what is a sign? I guess it is useful for letting people know where you are, or what you are about. It is an outward representation of you - but it is not you. It does not have the substance of you, although it may have some superficial representation of what you are about. We all have signs. Some of them are the clothes we wear or the personality we express on any given day.

I am sign-less this evening.

I awoke this morning and was receiving many signs, of a different sort. I felt watched over today, which I understand is entirely unbelievable after this other information I am about to share. But I drove up to a school to do a few evaluations this morning and I felt watched over. It isn't a feeling I have on most days, to be sure, and I thought it was odd. Work-life has been roiling lately - switch to a new payroll system, end of the year accounting, arranging staffing for a couple maternity leaves - it just hasn't been easy. Today, driving up to the school, the clouds hung very low in the sky and it made me feel like there was a little less to contend with. I was thinking that all I have to think about is what is underneath those clouds, and God was hanging them low to block out an awful lot of possibilities. For example, there is no need to consider the enormity of the Universe when all that you can see is up to about 2,000 feet or so. Those clouds limited my world-view this morning and I can't tell you how good that felt. There just was a little less to think about, as it was conveniently blocked from my consideration.

So I was driving and feeling happy and feeling cared for. The evaluations were both late, and that kept me from getting back to my office. I didn't care though, because it felt today like someone else was caring.

I didn't care as I drove the long way around my office, as circumstances dictated that I drive to pick up the payroll from the accountant. Normally I would be at my office and seeing kids, waiting for it to arrive in the mail, but with the payroll switch and with small details still needing to be worked out I had to drive a circuitous vector before I made it back to the office.

The whole time today, I don't know why, I felt watched over.

Toward the end of my meandering I started to think that I had to hurry to return to my office so I could see the afternoon patients. So when I arrived at the office I was a little surprised to see that the sign in front of my building was obviously destroyed:














And here is where I park, and in the spaces beyond is where all of my patients park. The tire tracks show a story of what might have happened, but did not:














So I was thinking of just making an entry here that said my sign was blown to smithereens, but then I thought that I really didn't know what a smithereen was. I have a working knowledge of Fullerines, but I really don't know what smithereens are. So even though I feel a little awkward sharing the odd feelings I had today I thought that I would instead tell the whole Truth about being watched over today and show the pictures of what happened.

This could have been a very tragic story. I care about all the children who come here so much, just as I care about my staff because of all the wonderful things they do to help the kids. But we were all collectively watched over today, and all that got lost was a replaceable sign. Not a bad day at all.